I watched Kimberly Peirce’s remake of Carrie over the weekend. My reaction is best expressed through poem.
You ruled in ’76
Then some big director
tried to resurrect her
and it sucked a big bag of dicks
Sue and Kris were a great big miss
but Ms. Moore brought light to Ms. White
If you want a good gore fest
with Chloe Grace Moretz
stick to Kick Ass for a great fight
Sissy, sissy, we love you missy
and I even prefer the old mom
Your telekinesis scared us to pieces
and we’d much rather watch you at the prom!