31 Nights of Horror, Night 15: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Slightly more than three sentence review:
Dear Great Pumpkin: why does Lucy have to be such a horrible, doodoo brained BULLY? “Oh, har har, Charlie Brown, I’m sorry I fooled you with the football trick for the gazillionth freaking time EVEN AFTER signing this contract that says I wouldn’t. The thing about signed documents is that this one wasn’t notarized tehehe”. LUCY, YOU SUCK! Taylor Swift wrote “Mean” about YOU!
LINUS VON PELT IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE GREAT PUMPKIN THEN THE GREAT PUMPKIN IS REAL, MY LITTLE BLANKET WIELDING BUDDY. DON’T EVER LET THAT STINKY FACE, BUTTHEAD SISTER OF YOURS TELL YOU OTHERWISE! (Sally + Linus forever.)
During Trick-or-Treating Charlie Brown gets a rock instead of candy and I literally snickerdoodle my candy corn pants with laughter. A ROCK. The ultimate Halloween tom-foolery! Meanwhile Snoopy is suffering from some serious night terrors in this episode, having vivid flashbacks of World War 1 during a children’s Halloween party. Then someone tells Lucy that she has the perfect mouth to win the bobbing for apples party game which I suspect is a similar sentiment she later heard at the Sophomore year Homecoming dance. Lucy makes out with Snoopy, briefly.
Schroeder pulls a David Foster and forces all of the party guests to listen to him play a spirited rendition of some song that seems appropriate for an 1800s gambling parlor. He does not let them talk or sing. FINALLY, the Great Pumpkin arises from its throne in the patch. About fucking time, Charles Schultz. Alas, it is only Snoopy, still manic from vivid flashbacks of the Battle of Liege. Lucy slightly redeems her awfulness by being a good sister for like 0.1 seconds but she’s still a scab eating fart smeller. Then Charlie Brown ponders the meaning of life while Linus rambles about the Great Pumpkin like an over served regular at the Chili’s down the road that’s going out of business. You Blockhead!