31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 27: The Thing (1982)
Three sentence review:
I looked back on all of the movies I’ve featured over the years and could not find John Carpenter’s The Thing. That is a damn shame, because it’s undeniably one of the greatest horror movies of all time. Not just because of the (iconic/legendary/GOAT) special effects either; the claustrophobic, dire environment that Mr. Carpenter created is as terrifying as it was in 1982.
It’s Halloweekend! If you’re throwing a spooky shindig this weekend it’s time to put together your Halloween playlist. Don’t worry, I’m here to help with a list of songs that will be sure to satisfy traditionalists, weirdos, and those damn hipster elitists. Have fun my ghouls and goblins!
Your 2018 Halloween Playlist:
1. “Wicked Ones” – Dorothy
Because you want to set the tone for the evening without being too literal. “This night ain’t for the faint of heart…”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AW4vejDcVe8
2. “Skully Gully” – Bobby “Boris” Pickett
I always recommend this classic as a fantastic alternative to The Monster Mash. It’s on theme and catchy.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f8BW76mVv5o
3. “The Boogie Monster” – Gnarls Barkley
A creepy cool jam perfect for all of that awkward “catching up” conversation while you guzzle down your first couple of drinks
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oFzM7DJ9nFw
4. “Monster Moves” Koo Koo Kanga Roo
If LMFAO ever released a Halloween party anthem, this would be it. Good transition into a dance party or party game.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GxKb_VHCYdc
5. “Time Warp” – Rocky Horror Picture Show
Because if people weren’t dancing yet, now they will be.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-w0WPkB3XJ4
6. “Calling All The Monsters” – China Anne McClain
So what if it’s from Disney. Time for shots!! Bust out your skeleton arm shot glass holder and pass em out. What, everyone doesn’t have one of those?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XpoVbmx1qYU
7. “Tear You Apart” – She Wants Revenge
If anyone watched American Horror Story: Hotel, they’ll be excited.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ixw_bLVUL34
8. “Ghost Town” – The Specials
If your state has legalized weed – or maybe if it hasn’t – this is the song for passing out party favors.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ2oXzrnti4
9. “The Creep” – The Lonely Island
Or alternatively, “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” for some comic relief.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tLPZmPaHme0
10. Your Favorite Rob Zombie Song
Don’t overdo the playlist with Rob Zombie, but definitely choose your one or two favorites. But if you choose “Superbeast” then you are required to play “Call of the Zombie” before it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mG3iUfsLefY
11. “This is Halloween” – Marilyn Manson
One more for the traditionalists.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jU6iP0WLsU8
12. “Halloweenhead” – Ryan Adams
OMG the kinda cute introvert wearing a “this is my costume” T-shirt will actually like a song.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qvw7KZjfLtU
13. “The Crypt Jam” – Tales From the Crypt
Anyone born in the 80s or early 90s will LOVE this homage to the Cryptkeeper.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rv4RDx5TSrs
14. “Halloween” – Aqua
Yes, the band who made “Barbie Girl” made a Halloween song. It’s delightfully tacky.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gRr4TMqawu8
15. “Zombie Jamboree” – Harry Belafonte
❤️❤️❤️❤️🧟♀️🧟♂️
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RdRI2Y8fGcI
16. “Nature Trail to Hell” – Weird Al Yankovic
If anyone doesn’t like Weird Al, you don’t want them at your party.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LWME4d1BRCk
17. “Mr. Crowley” – Ozzy Osbourne
The prince of darkness has to make one appearance right?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vDVLMS_Yhe4
18. “She Wolf” – Shakira
One for my ladies.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=booKP974B0k
19. “Scream” – Michael and Janet Jackson
BANGERRRR
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0P4A1K4lXDo
20. “Monster” – Kanye West
Dance all niiiiight!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pmEk0ZMhva4
21. “Are you ready for Freddy?” – Fat Boys
In the same vein as “The Crypt Jam”
Halloween met my expectations. I enjoyed the parts that clearly respected the original, such as the nice balance between gore and implied kills. I liked Michael’s look and the music was amazing.
I’m not sure about the new Doctor Loomis and the direction his character took. I’m also unclear if Michael was even out to get Laurie. In “Rue Morgue” magazine, David Gordon Green talked about disassociating Michael from being Laurie’s brother, that it was scarier to imagine Michael Myers as this random psychopath. That’s why I’m uncertain about the connection to Laurie in this one. Michael was killing everyone in his path throughout the film. He was brought to Laurie’s house, he was never seeking it out.
The new Halloween wasn’t perfect but I wasn’t expecting or hoping for it to be. What I loved was seeing it with my parents and brother and listening to their reactions:
My dad: “I was entertained”
My mom: “I am desensitized. It was too predictable for me.”
My brother: laughing out loud at the reactions of the police in the film (he’s a police officer himself)
That’s what great about horror. Coming together in a theater to laugh or feel scared. In that sense, it hit the mark.
31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 24: Downrange
Three sentence review:
Downrange is currently on Shudder and it’s one of the best no frills survival horror movies I’ve seen in a while. The premise feels fresh; a group of friends are on a road trip together when their tire blows out and are soon after stalked by a sniper in the hills. The majority of the movie is filmed in daylight and I think that adds a realistic scariness to the already dire situation.
31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 23: Basket Case
Three sentence review:
If you’re like me and grew up with brothers, it’s time to thank them for not being murderous mutants who make you carry them around in a basket as you both seek revenge on the doctors who separated you! Basket Case sort of sums up the weirdness of New York City in the 1980s where perhaps even a deformed twin monster living in the apartment below you wasn’t the weirdest thing you saw all day. I love the special effects in this movie and I’m so happy that a Belial Christmas ornament exists (which will for sure be on my tree this year).
The requirement? Wear all black. The expectation? Drink up, witches. This is Witches Night Out.
The coven gathered around the ritual table for a smudging prayer. We cast out all negativity from our souls and cleansed our spirits to prepare for the evening. As the sage burned, we let the smoke purify our minds and hearts.
Once we rectified ourselves, we blessed our friendships and inscribed our wishes for our futures on a piece of paper. The wishes were then lit on fire by the friendship candle and placed into a jar to solidify our fates. Now we were ready to party.
After an un-happy hour with ghoulish goodies and demonic drinks, we rode our brooms (aka we took an Uber) to the Veil Brewing Company to sample their boozy elixirs of spontaneous fermentation. Once our bellies were filled with the white light of some seriously stellar hops, we marched as one to the next destination: The Haunted Hofheimer Building.
We perched on the roof with other gargoyles and ravens, and continued to fill our cups with the magical potion of the alcoholic gods. Our hearts, black as ice (and our bodies just as cold) commanded us to descend to the second floor of the building. There, we participated in an ancient drum circle and danced to the Devil’s song. Seriously, though, the lounge at the Hof was exceptionally cool and I’m so glad we stumbled upon it. Feeling particularly devilish, we also crashed a ten year high school reunion that was happening in the same building. Oh, those witches! You can’t trust us.
The evening ended with more dancing in El Diablo room at Banditos and we refueled with late night quesadillas and nachos. Witches gotta eat.
A night out with your best witches and warlocks is the best way to enhance your Halloween spirit. I encourage all of you to get in touch with your dark side and host your own spooky get together. It’s sure to be a witchin’ good time!
31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 21: Escape From Tomorrow
Three sentence review:
I read about Escape From Tomorrow a few years ago and was obsessed with the idea that someone filmed a rogue horror movie inside of Disney World without Disney’s approval. It is a beyond strange movie that is reminiscent of Eraserhead. I can totally see every dad in America having this weird acid trip of a time while begrudgingly spending a week at Disney with their families.
31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 20: We Are Not Cats
Three sentence review:
One of the more bizarre horror films I watched this year is We Are Not Cats. A man with a “homeless hipster” aesthetic meets and falls in love with a woman who shares his odd addiction of eating hair. It is undeniably a strange movie but it has some great body horror elements and a definite gross-out factor that made me feel physically dirty while watching it – like I needed a shower.
31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 19: The Lost Boys
More than 3 sentence review:
I don’t love vampire movies. I’ve always felt like vampires are easy to fight and kill (a sharp piece of wood, holy water and garlic is all it takes?) I also don’t always enjoy the super erotic undertones (overtones?) that often dominate the vampire narrative. Plus, you don’t even have to invite them into your home. Boom! Vampires avoided.
The Lost Boys is DEFINITELY an exception to my possibly unfair characterization of toothy night dwellers. Who doesn’t want Kiefer Sutherland and the gang’s entire wardrobe? Show me a person who says they don’t love the soundtrack and I’ll show you a liar. You get not one but BOTH Coreys. And Richard muh fuggjn Gilmore is the head vampire (aka the late, great Edward Hermann). Without a doubt it’s my favorite vampire film. A perfect blend of 80s campiness, true horror, and stylish teenage vampires.
31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 18: Creep 2
Three sentence review:
Now that we know who Aaron/Josef really is, we get to learn so much more about his psyche in Creep 2. I like this sequel better than the original because I think it’s smarter and more entertaining. Oddly, I can see myself being in Sara’s situation because I’m way too trusting – gonna keep working on that!
