Alternative Christmas Music Playlist

I LOVE Christmas music.  It’s cheerful, catchy, and so damn fun.  (The obvious exception is, of course, that killjoy Karen Carpenter who thought of Christmas as a time to sing these merry melodies in the style of some kind of heroin addict who’s stuck in a slow motion playback reel.)

However, if you’re a very sane person who can’t listen to Brenda Lee’s “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree” one more time or you’ll just fucking snap, I’ve compiled a hearty list of bizarre unique holiday ditties to satisfy your thirst for festive carols without feeding into your mom’s questionable obsession of Elvis’ “Blue Christmas”.

Presenting the Definitive Guide to Alternative Christmas Music:

1. Deck Da Club – Ying Yang Twinz

“Deck da club with [piles/boughs] of money…”   Actually, the entire album “The Ying and the Yang of the Holidays” is worth checking out.  CAROL OF DA BELLZ.  One YouTube user calls this the “most horrible Christmas song ever.” I completely disagree.

2.  Ru Paul the Red Nosed Drag Queen – Ru Paul

Child, if y’all can’t name all reindeer drag queens in order y’all need to just get on up outta here.  My favorite is Lady Comet.

3.  Sleigh Ride – Christmas Disco 

The album is described as “JOYOUS DISCO VERSIONS OF GREAT CHRISTMAS CLASSICS!” and I think that’s all that needs to be said about that.  Shimmy into your leisure suits and fill up your coke rings, we’re going on a glittery, drug infused disco sleigh ride straight to the stars!

 4. Oh Come All Ye Faithful – Twisted Sister

Amazing video.  Enjoy those nightmares of Dee Snyder Santa Claus sliding down your chimney.  Also – the guitar riff of “We’re Not Gonna Take It” and “Hava Nagila” at the end.  Priceless.

5. Christmas in Jail – The Youngsters

A special tribute to your well-meaning uncle who had one too many run-ins with the law this year.  Or, in my case, an homage to my police officer brother who often has to work on Christmas Day.

6. Afroman is Coming to Town – Afroman

In other “why did they make a Christmas album?” news, Afroman made a Christmas album.  “Slap yo grandma’s dentures out” ?!?!??! What do you mean, Afroman?!?!? Terrifying.

 7.  Get Behind Me, Santa! – Sufjan Stevens

This is the part of the list that isn’t so obscurely bizarre. You can actually play all of Sufjan’s Christmas compilations from Songs for Christmas and genuinely enjoy them.  I love his whimsical sing-song lullabies about American culture and pleasantries so he’s a natural fit in the holiday music realm.  Listening to Sufjan Stevens is like putting your bare feet up on the dashboard and doing the wave thing with your hand out of the window on a long road trip.

8.  We Three Konami – 8-Bit Jesus

Ok, back to the weird.  8-Bit Jesus is an album of Christmas songs in the style of 8-bit Nintendo games.  You can enjoy such hits as “O Come All Ye Vampires” and “Ryu the Red Nose Ninja”.  Have a husband, brother, or girlfriend who loves video games?  They’ll get a laugh out of this.

9. ‘Oy to the World – Klezmonauts

When Christmas crashes into Chanukah this happens.  Klezmer is a musical tradition of the Ashkanazi Jews from Eastern Europe.  Klezmonauts is an album of Christmas carols in the style of klezmer music.  I am really fond of this one.

Other great Klezmonaut songs include “Deck the Halls” and “Jingle Bells”.

10. A Toolbox Christmas – Woody Phillips

Christmas songs performed by various tools.  As strange as it sounds.

Thanksgiving Addams Family Style

First, watch the spectacular musical number.  EAT ME!

Then, Give thanks. Addams Family style.  Because it’s not fucking Christmas yet.

Happy HorrorDays,

Katie

Here’s Your Halloween Party Playlist

Music will make or break your party so do it right this Halloween. I know it’s a ton of pressure, but fear not! I’m here to help.  Here are 65 suggestions that will satisfy your friends, family, and even your musical elitist hipster co-worker.

-OR-

You can be totally lazy and just play any Halloween playlist from http://www.fratmusic.com (I won’t be offended because I strongly endorse alcohol fueled techno dance parties.)

DIY Halloween Party Playlist Suggestions:

1. The Monster Mash – Bobby “Boris” Pickett (Duh.)

2. Werewolves of London – Warren Zevon

3. Witchy Woman – The Eagles

4. Evil Woman – Electric Light Orchestra

5. Black Magic Woman – Santana

6. Frankenstein – Edgar Winter Group

7. Thriller – Michael Jackson

8. Ghostbusters – Ray Parker, Jr.

9. A Nightmare on My Street – Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff

10. Superstition – Stevie Wonder

11. I Put a Spell on You – Hocus Pocus or Screamin Jay Hawkins

12. Time Warp – The Rocky Horror Picture Show

13. Weird Science – Oingo Boingo

14. Somebody’s Watching Me – Rockwell

15. Dragula – Rob Zombie

16.  This is Halloween – The Nightmare Before Christmas

17. The Boogie Monster – Gnarls Barkley

18. Living Dead Girl – Rob Zombie

19. Red Right Hand – Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

20. Ghost Town – The Specials

21. Ghosts ‘n Stuff – Deadmau5 feat. Rob Swire

22. People Are Strange – The Doors

23. Wolf Like Me – TV on the Radio

24. Evil – Interpol

25. They’re Coming to Take Me Away – Napoleon XIV

26. Bad Moon Rising – CCR

27. Monster – Lady GaGa

28. Monster – Kanye West

29. My Chick Bad – Ludacris

30. Season of the Witch – Donovan

31. Spooky – Classics IV

32. Skully Gully – Bobby “Boris” Pickett

33. That Little Old Graverobber – Don Hinson

34. Tubular Bells – Mike Oldfield

35. Howlin’ For You – Black Keys

36. Madness – Muse

37. Sympathy for the Devil – Rolling Stones

38. Beat the Devil’s Tattoo – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

39. Bad Romance – Lady GaGa

40. Hell’s Bells – AC/DC

41. Hell – Squirrel Nut Zippers

42. Highway to Hell – AC/DC

43. Boris the Spider – The Who

44. Pet Cemetery – Ramones

45. Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)  – David Bowie

46.  Everyday is Halloween – Chief Keef

47. Everyday is Halloween – Ministry

48. Halloween in Heaven – Type O Negative

49. Halloween Dance – Reverend Horton Heat

50. Bela Lugosi’s Dead – Nouvelle Vague or Bauhaus

51. Scream – The Misfits

52. Anything by the Misfits??!?!?!?

53. The Devil Went Down to Georgia – Charlie Daniels Band

54. The Killing Moon – Echo and the Bunnymen

55. Perhaps Vampires is a Bit Strong, But… – Arctic Monkeys

56.  Halloween Head – Ryan Adams

57. Convinced of the Hex – Flaming Lips

58. Scarecrow – Beck

59. House of the Rising Sun – The Animals

60. Little Red Riding Hood – Sam The Sham and the Pharoahs

61. Graveyard’s Full – The Growlers

62. Standing on Ghosts – Two Door Cinema Club

63. They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back from the Dead!! Ahhhh! – Sufjan Stevens

64. Little Ghost – The White Stripes

65. Bones – Electric Tickle Machine

Night 15, Halloweentown

31 Nights of Horror, Night 15: Halloweentown

Three very long and winded sentence review:

Ah, the good ol’ years between 1998 and 2002 were positively majestic for the Disney Channel original movie business, with Disney just absolutely crushing it with treasured cinematic classics like Brink, Cadet Kelly, Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century, Johnny Tsunami, Alley Cats Strike, Emmy Award winning The Color of Friendship, and tonight’s feature, Halloweentown (I know you are total fangirling right now!) Halloweentown stars the FABULOUS Academy Award winner Debbie Reynolds (The Unsinkable Molly Brown, Carrie Fisher’s mom, your fantasy grandmother) as Aggie Cromwell, Judith Hoag (April from TMNT) as Gwen Cromwell Piper and Kimberly J. Brown (Bringing Down the House, a couple episodes of Two of a Kind) as Marnie Piper – three generations of Cromwell women who are – GASP – witches and find themselves battling to save Halloweentown from the evil Mayor Kalabar – MWAHAHAH!  The cutesy characters in the quaint little village of Halloweentown, the horrible acting, predictable story, great costumes, and festive sets really make Halloweentown a fun, family watch (AND I LOVE IT SO BACK OFF) – this one is definitely pumpkin carving party approved. 

IT'S DELIGHTFUL!!!!!!!
IT’S DELIGHTFUL!!!!!!!

Halloween is COOL,

Katie

I Will Eat Your Soul

If you’re new to this blog, start here.

Music videos are a medium to share a poignant story, artistic vision, lots of big ol’ booties, or Canadian Tuxedos.

But some artists use them to scare the living daylights out of us.  The creepiest music video I’ve ever seen is – by far – Aphex Twin’s Come to Daddy.

Why?

The lyrics: “I want your soul. I will eat your soul.”  Okay.

The little people.  Not because they’re little people. Little people are generally wonderful.  Because they’re little people in masks and dresses hell bent on tearing shit up and possibly going Jimmy Hoffa on your knees with those sticks.

The old woman. I’m so scared for her.  Is she okay? Did her dog survive? Does she have “life alert?”

Absolutely everything that’s happening from 3:50 – 4:38.

Hope he had a mint or something.

Honorable mentions:

1. Rubber Johnny   Also by Aphex Twin.  Good luck watching this one.  Might be scarier than “Come to Daddy” but Rubber Johnny just kind of reminds me of the martians from “Mars Attacks”.

2. If I Had A Heart by Fever Ray.  The fact that the song is awesome is just a bonus.

3. We Are Water by Health.  Gore and slasher film fans will love this one.

4. Peacebone by Animal Collective.  Pause at 3:12 for a good time.

5. Adicolor: “Black”.  Not a music video but really deserves to be on this list.  A panda plays Russian roulette with a fish.  Delightfully horrifying. Don’t miss this one.

6.The Sweetest Kill – Broken Social Scene.  Indie music meets Patrick Bateman.

What did I leave out? What are your favorites?  Send me some from back in the day, like “They’re coming to take me away” 

You’re gonna need a bigger boat,

Katie