The Green Inferno’s Delayed, Y’all.

So THIS is what Lana Del Rey meant by “Summertime Sadness.”  I’m looking forward to The Green Inferno whenever it’s finally released. Hemlock Grove is just not enough Eli Roth for me.

Guess I need to update my Outlook calendar with a big TBD.



What’s the Worst Horror Movie Ever?

For me it’s Dark Water from 2005 but I think it’s because that movie punished me. I made my family come with me to see this and was relieved of my movie decision making duties for a good five years.

What do y’all think is the worst horror film of all time? Awesomely bad movies like Troll 2, etc don’t count!

Carrie 2013: An Elegy

I watched Kimberly Peirce’s remake of Carrie over the weekend. My reaction is best expressed through poem.

Carrie, Carrie

Quite Contrary

You ruled in ’76

Then some big director

tried to resurrect her

and it sucked a big bag of dicks

Sue and Kris were a great big miss

but Ms. Moore brought light to Ms. White

If you want a good gore fest

with Chloe Grace Moretz

stick to Kick Ass for a great fight

Sissy, sissy, we love you missy

and I even prefer the old mom

Your telekinesis scared us to pieces

and we’d much rather watch you at the prom!

I mean honestly, which image is more disturbing? CGM looks like she just got soaked while standing on the sidewalk by a drive by trucker who ran over a pond of pigs blood. Sissy Spacek looks like she’s about to CUT A BITCH!

Scary Snowman Drawing Contest…. Go!

Scary Snowman Drawing Contest.... Go!

Draw an alternative snowman.  Post it in the captions. Winner receives 9 seconds of personal satisfaction.

Frosty says: “I’m gon take yo money, bitch.”

Update: Drawn by a wonderful friend.

Frosty says:  Stay out of my territory.
Frosty says: Stay out of my territory.