80s horror – NERDCROPOLIS

31 Nights of Horror IX, Night 1: Killer Workout

IT’S OCTOBER. OCTOBER 2020. THERE’S A LOT OF SHIT TO BE SAD/MAD ABOUT. WATCH HORROR, BE HAPPY. CHEERS, WITCHES!

31 Nights of Horror IX, Night 1: Killer Workout

Killer Workout (1987) — The Movie Database (TMDb)

Three sentence review:

If you were burned in a freak tanning bed accident and it derailed your future career as a model would you murder everyone in a gym several years later? That’s exactly what happens in 1987’s awesomely bad KILLER WORKOUT aka AEROBI-CIDE. I absolutely loved this 80s stinky cheese classic and need a Rhonda’s Workout sweatshirt like yesterday.

Horror Movie Review: Killer Workout (1987) - Games, Brrraaains & A Head-Banging Life

31 Nights of Horror VIII, Night 2: Slumber Party Massacre 2

Three sentence review:

The original Slumber Party Massacre is an excellent choice if you want good 80’s cheese. The sequel just goes completely off the rails and into outer space with kookiness. For some (amazing) reason, the first installment’s Driller Killer has evolved into an 80s metal head character whose murder weapon is an electric guitar with a drill attached and includes a bonkers musical number- and yes, I absolutely LOVE IT.

31 Nights of Horror IV, Night 21: The Burbs

Three sentence review:

Oh my gosh, you guys…The Burbs is so wonderful and so 80s and so delightfully weird. Tom Hanks and his merry band of wacky suburbanite neighbors (Bruce Dern!!) work together to figure out the mysterious secrets of their new neighbors, who they suspect to be murderous cult. It’s full of paranoia, 80s home decor, awesomely bad humor that can only be akin to dad jokes, and a bevy of good ol’ fashioned Corey Feldman strangeness.

31 Nights of Horror IV, Night 10: Videodrome

Three sentences review:

David Cronenberg’s Videodrome is one of those movies so ahead of its time that I wonder how crazy it must have been to watch it when it was first released (in this case, 1983). The president for a sleazy Toronto cable network happens upon a bizarre broadcast of violent S&M fantasies called “Videodrome”, and while unraveling the signal’s source soon begins to experience inexplicable and increasingly terrifying hallucinations. It’s a pre-internet vision of the dangers of technological obsession, plus it features iconic horror make-up designer Rick Baker (just say yes to glorious, CGI-free 80s horror) AND the remarkable DEBBIE HARRY.

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31 Nights of Horror IV, Night 1: The Monster Squad

31 Nights of Horror, Night 1: The Monster Squad (1987)

Memorable quote: “Wolfman’s got nards!”

Three sentence review:

When it’s 1987 and you’re 12 and Dracula is trying to take over the world with his army of classic monsters, you save the neighborhood with your band of misfit friends, “The Monster Squad.” This gem is chock full of incredible one liners that could only be used in 1980s kids movies, includes a sweet “Stephen King Rules” t-shirt that I must own, and features the older brother from “The Wonder Years” as the token bully. I filed this one in the “must watch” family-friendly horror category and thought I might be cool enough to enter the Monster Squad treehouse myself, but like all good clubs in the 1980s there’s a strict “no little sisters” rule that immediately disqualifies me.

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