31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 19: The Lost Boys

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 19: The Lost Boys

More than 3 sentence review:

I don’t love vampire movies. I’ve always felt like vampires are easy to fight and kill (a sharp piece of wood, holy water and garlic is all it takes?) I also don’t always enjoy the super erotic undertones (overtones?) that often dominate the vampire narrative. Plus, you don’t even have to invite them into your home. Boom! Vampires avoided.

The Lost Boys is DEFINITELY an exception to my possibly unfair characterization of toothy night dwellers. Who doesn’t want Kiefer Sutherland and the gang’s entire wardrobe? Show me a person who says they don’t love the soundtrack and I’ll show you a liar. You get not one but BOTH Coreys. And Richard muh fuggjn Gilmore is the head vampire (aka the late, great Edward Hermann). Without a doubt it’s my favorite vampire film. A perfect blend of 80s campiness, true horror, and stylish teenage vampires.


31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 18: Creep 2

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 18: Creep 2

Three sentence review:

Now that we know who Aaron/Josef really is, we get to learn so much more about his psyche in Creep 2. I like this sequel better than the original because I think it’s smarter and more entertaining. Oddly, I can see myself being in Sara’s situation because I’m way too trusting – gonna keep working on that!

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 17: Creep

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 17: Creep

Three sentence review:

Did you know that Mark Duplass (director of Jeff, Who Lives at Home and best known from “The League”) wrote, produced and starred in an excellent pair of found footage horror films? Creep is an awesome cautionary tale against responding to Craigslist ads and as the name suggests, it’s super creepy. It’s definitely the best movie I’ve watched in several years about the behaviors and horrors of sociopaths.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 16: A Dark Song

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 16: A Dark Song

Three sentence review:

Are you tired of the same ol’ occult film? Then fire up your Netflix, cast your magical circle to the spirit realm, and gather around A Dark Song. This 2017 Irish horror film is an excellent, fresh take on extreme rituals and the lengths we go to satiate our guilty souls.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 13: Wedding Themed Horror!

As I mentioned in the last post, I’ve been in Louisville, KY all weekend celebrating the wedding of one of my best girlfriends. Last night (Saturday, 10/13) was their wedding ceremony and reception, so in their honor I am dedicating a whole post to the best wedding themed horror movies. Congrats to Charlotte and Noah!

1. Corpse Bride

Like Tim Burton’s other animated musical features, Corpse Bride is delightful. I don’t know how that man is able to turn the macabre world of the dead into beloved family classics but I’m so glad that he does. I love the ending of this movie when Emily bursts into beautiful butterflies. It’s lovely.

2. I Married a Monster from Outer Space (1958)

This sci-fi horror from Paramount Pictures was theatrically released as a double feature that paired with The Blob. How fun does that sound?! In I Married a Monster from Outer Space, the title pretty much explains the plot. A woman begins to suspect that the man she married isn’t who he says he is after a series of suspicious behaviors. Awesomely 1950s, when science fiction movies dominated at the drive-ins.

3. Bride of Chucky

Ugh, I love Jennifer Tilly so much! Let us be thankful that Don Mancini took the Child’s Play franchise in this direction and that we all got to meet Tiffany, the love of Charles Lee Ray’s life. This sequel is also the introduction of Chucky’s scars and stitches look, which were of course caused by the events of Child’s Play 3.

4. Bride of Frankenstein

The original “Bridezilla”! This iconic Universal Monsters sequel is widely considered to be even better than its predecessor, Frankenstein. I completely agree with this consensus. I love the madness of the relationship between Doctor Frankenstein and his mentor, Doctor Pretorius. The scene where Pretorius convinces Dr. Frankenstein to create a mate for his Monster is THE BEST. “To a new world of Gods and Monsters!”

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 12: A Quiet Place

Well hello there! Wondering where night 12 and 13 are? I’ve been in Louisville, KY for the wedding of one of my best girlfriends so did not have a chance to write. Fixing that now and then back to our normal schedule!

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 12: A Quiet Place

Three sentence review:

To be clear, there’s no way I would survive the world in A Quiet Place because I snore like a jackhammer and would be killed immediately the first time I fell asleep. There are a lot of questions and plot holes in John Krasinki’s first foray into the horror/sci-fi/thriller genre but it is undeniably effective and suspenseful. In fact, nobody in the theater made a peep while watching this film and that speaks volumes (pun intended) to its success.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 10: Terrifier

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 10: Terrifier

More than Three Sentence Review (because it was my favorite of 2018!)

At some point in early 2018 I started seeing a ton of buzz among horror fans about a homicidal clown named Art and an 80s slasher inspired film he was in called Terrifier. I shelled out $5 to watch it via Google Play because pirating movies sucks and we should all support filmmakers pushing the limits in horror. I’m so glad I spent that money because Terrifier is easily my favorite horror movie of 2018.

It recently became available on Netflix and I was stoked to rewatch it. Because horror fans can sometimes be elitist hipsters, a lot of hardcore genre fans are tired of hearing about it. I’m not because I hope that director Damien Leone gets a ton of money to make a sequel.

Art the Clown is a welcomed addition to the list of slasher icons that was quite frankly beginning to get stale. The violence and gore are in your face and on par with the excess of 80s horror. The plot is minimal and I prefer it that way because Art is scary looking enough to stand on his own.

As you remember from the Scream franchise there are certain conventions or rules that a typical slasher villain follows. Art does follow some of these precedents but also breaks them in such fantastic fashion that I was fist pumping Jersey Shore style while watching. Needless to say, I’m a fan and look forward to Art’s next chapter.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 9: Mayhem

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 9: Mayhem

Three sentence review:

There are two recent horror films about extreme workplace violence: The Belko Experiment (2016) and Mayhem (2017). My vote goes to Mayhem and I highly recommend it for fans of action, gore, viral outbreaks and sticking it to the man. The Walking Dead’s Steven Yuen and The Babysitter’s Samara Weaving team up to survive the worst work day of all time with epic results.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 8: Black Christmas

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 8: Black Christmas

Three sentence review:

Nineteen seventy-four’s Black Christmas is mandatory viewing for anyone who questions whether or not feminism has a place in horror. This movie was way ahead of its time and not just because it is one of the first (and creepiest!) slasher movies. I vow to forever live my life channeling Margot Kidder’s IDGAF attitude in this film (spoiler warning: just hopefully for a little longer than she survived).

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 7: Threads

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 7: Threads

Three sentence review:

Threads is a British made-for-TV movie from 1984 about the consequences of nuclear war – and it’s horrifying. It’s not intended to be a horror movie but even 34 years later, the topic and fear of a nuclear holocaust is as relevant and terrifying as ever. The sobering images will stick with you and I guarantee that you will think about your own minuscule chances of survival while watching this.