31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 12: A Quiet Place

Well hello there! Wondering where night 12 and 13 are? I’ve been in Louisville, KY for the wedding of one of my best girlfriends so did not have a chance to write. Fixing that now and then back to our normal schedule!

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 12: A Quiet Place

Three sentence review:

To be clear, there’s no way I would survive the world in A Quiet Place because I snore like a jackhammer and would be killed immediately the first time I fell asleep. There are a lot of questions and plot holes in John Krasinki’s first foray into the horror/sci-fi/thriller genre but it is undeniably effective and suspenseful. In fact, nobody in the theater made a peep while watching this film and that speaks volumes (pun intended) to its success.

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31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 11: The Beyond

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 11: The Beyond

Three sentence review:

I am so happy that 2018 was the year that I got really into giallos (classic Italian horror-thrillers). I watched several giallo entries this year, but developed a particular fondness for Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond. I love the soundtrack and shlock, but unfortunately nobody warned me about the horrifying tarantula scene that made my skin crawl.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 10: Terrifier

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 10: Terrifier

More than Three Sentence Review (because it was my favorite of 2018!)

At some point in early 2018 I started seeing a ton of buzz among horror fans about a homicidal clown named Art and an 80s slasher inspired film he was in called Terrifier. I shelled out $5 to watch it via Google Play because pirating movies sucks and we should all support filmmakers pushing the limits in horror. I’m so glad I spent that money because Terrifier is easily my favorite horror movie of 2018.

It recently became available on Netflix and I was stoked to rewatch it. Because horror fans can sometimes be elitist hipsters, a lot of hardcore genre fans are tired of hearing about it. I’m not because I hope that director Damien Leone gets a ton of money to make a sequel.

Art the Clown is a welcomed addition to the list of slasher icons that was quite frankly beginning to get stale. The violence and gore are in your face and on par with the excess of 80s horror. The plot is minimal and I prefer it that way because Art is scary looking enough to stand on his own.

As you remember from the Scream franchise there are certain conventions or rules that a typical slasher villain follows. Art does follow some of these precedents but also breaks them in such fantastic fashion that I was fist pumping Jersey Shore style while watching. Needless to say, I’m a fan and look forward to Art’s next chapter.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 9: Mayhem

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 9: Mayhem

Three sentence review:

There are two recent horror films about extreme workplace violence: The Belko Experiment (2016) and Mayhem (2017). My vote goes to Mayhem and I highly recommend it for fans of action, gore, viral outbreaks and sticking it to the man. The Walking Dead’s Steven Yuen and The Babysitter’s Samara Weaving team up to survive the worst work day of all time with epic results.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 8: Black Christmas

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 8: Black Christmas

Three sentence review:

Nineteen seventy-four’s Black Christmas is mandatory viewing for anyone who questions whether or not feminism has a place in horror. This movie was way ahead of its time and not just because it is one of the first (and creepiest!) slasher movies. I vow to forever live my life channeling Margot Kidder’s IDGAF attitude in this film (spoiler warning: just hopefully for a little longer than she survived).

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 7: Threads

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 7: Threads

Three sentence review:

Threads is a British made-for-TV movie from 1984 about the consequences of nuclear war – and it’s horrifying. It’s not intended to be a horror movie but even 34 years later, the topic and fear of a nuclear holocaust is as relevant and terrifying as ever. The sobering images will stick with you and I guarantee that you will think about your own minuscule chances of survival while watching this.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 6: No One Lives

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 6: No One Lives

Three sentence review:

I invested in a one year subscription to Shudder earlier this year, and the first movie I watched was No One Lives. I’m REALLY glad I did, because it’s a smart, refreshing spin on the “psychopaths” sub-genre. The gore and effects are fantastic in this captivating reverse slasher.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 4: The Autopsy of Jane Doe

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 4: The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Three sentence review:

Out of every movie featured in this year’s 31 Nights of Horror, The Autopsy of Jane Doe creeped me out the most. It’s about a father and son coroner team who get more than they bargain for when an unidentified corpse is rolled into the morgue. I highly recommend this one and also thrilled to report that movies can still scare me.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 2: Suspiria (1977)

NIGHT TWO is here in brilliant, heart stopping TECHNICOLOR. 

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 2: Suspiria (1977)

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Three sentence review:

The Suspiria remake (in theaters November 2nd) received jaw-dropping reactions after its debut at this year’s Fantastic Fest – but we’re not here to discuss that one, we’re here to discuss Dario Argento’s original witchy acid trip. If you’ve never seen 1977’s Suspiria – and you should – just imagine a Lisa Frank folder but with lots of blood spatters and one of the cute, big-eyed tiger cubs eating the heart of a ballet dancer.  It is a visually stunning, grisly experience much like how I imagine skipping through a stable of colorful, shrieking unicorn skeletons might feel.

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31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 1: Hereditary

HAPPY OCTOBER, HORROR NERDS! Let’s get this freak show on the road!

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 1: Hereditary 

Three sentence review:

I deliberately protect myself from hype, and Hereditary was oozing it after it premiered at Sundance earlier this year. I am ecstatic that this movie and horror in general is getting so much attention right now, but I didn’t love it. Toni Collette is amazing and the somberness really is intense, but my mind wandered elsewhere during the many slow parts and pretty soon I was ready to get on with the movie’s ending (which for all due credit was actually pretty superb).

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I will concede that this shit is intense.
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This is one of the ‘miniatures’ in Hereditary, which TBH were the creepiest part.