31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 7: Threads

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 7: Threads

Three sentence review:

Threads is a British made-for-TV movie from 1984 about the consequences of nuclear war – and it’s horrifying. It’s not intended to be a horror movie but even 34 years later, the topic and fear of a nuclear holocaust is as relevant and terrifying as ever. The sobering images will stick with you and I guarantee that you will think about your own minuscule chances of survival while watching this.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 6: No One Lives

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 6: No One Lives

Three sentence review:

I invested in a one year subscription to Shudder earlier this year, and the first movie I watched was No One Lives. I’m REALLY glad I did, because it’s a smart, refreshing spin on the “psychopaths” sub-genre. The gore and effects are fantastic in this captivating reverse slasher.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 4: The Autopsy of Jane Doe

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 4: The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Three sentence review:

Out of every movie featured in this year’s 31 Nights of Horror, The Autopsy of Jane Doe creeped me out the most. It’s about a father and son coroner team who get more than they bargain for when an unidentified corpse is rolled into the morgue. I highly recommend this one and also thrilled to report that movies can still scare me.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 2: Suspiria (1977)

NIGHT TWO is here in brilliant, heart stopping TECHNICOLOR. 

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 2: Suspiria (1977)

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Three sentence review:

The Suspiria remake (in theaters November 2nd) received jaw-dropping reactions after its debut at this year’s Fantastic Fest – but we’re not here to discuss that one, we’re here to discuss Dario Argento’s original witchy acid trip. If you’ve never seen 1977’s Suspiria – and you should – just imagine a Lisa Frank folder but with lots of blood spatters and one of the cute, big-eyed tiger cubs eating the heart of a ballet dancer.  It is a visually stunning, grisly experience much like how I imagine skipping through a stable of colorful, shrieking unicorn skeletons might feel.

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31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 1: Hereditary

HAPPY OCTOBER, HORROR NERDS! Let’s get this freak show on the road!

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 1: Hereditary 

Three sentence review:

I deliberately protect myself from hype, and Hereditary was oozing it after it premiered at Sundance earlier this year. I am ecstatic that this movie and horror in general is getting so much attention right now, but I didn’t love it. Toni Collette is amazing and the somberness really is intense, but my mind wandered elsewhere during the many slow parts and pretty soon I was ready to get on with the movie’s ending (which for all due credit was actually pretty superb).

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I will concede that this shit is intense.
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This is one of the ‘miniatures’ in Hereditary, which TBH were the creepiest part.

A Sonnet for Art the Clown

I ran into Art the Clown

At a pizza shop open late

He sawed my friend’s body in half

A different woman’s face, he ate

His oil black teeth give me nightmares

His sketchy bag full of god knows what

The way he sits silently and stares

You know he’s about to fuck shit up

I used to feel bad for clowns

For causing fear instead of joy

But I get why Art causes frowns

That mother fucker is here to destroy

And if you see Art lurking on your street

Rest assured its your maker you will meet

Red Vein Army Presents: Wicked Women of Richmond

 

February is a great month to drop hints to your man that you want a bouquet of chicken nuggets for Valentine’s Day. But it’s also Women in Horror Month!

I’m so excited to find out that Richmond’s own RED VEIN ARMY is hosting a lady horror event right in my own neighborhood at the end of this month.

The event is called Wicked Women of Richmond and will take place on Sunday, February 26 at Blue Bee Cider. It will feature a live podcast with Mouthy BroadCast from 4 – 6 pm. There will also be plenty of Red Vein haunters present to take photos with the crowd and lots of spooky prizes.

I’ll be there to cover the event and if it’s a total bust (which it won’t be), then at least I’ll still be able to get drunk. Horror, booze, and women – what’s not to love?