It’s true: I’ve been singing Su-Su-Spiria to the tune of Sussudio for the last few days. It’s so damn catchy, and a fun reminder of American Psycho. That’s never a bad thing.

But that’s not what we’re here to discuss. I am PUMPED to see the new Suspiria TONIGHT! Why do I feel like this movie has flown a little bit under the radar? Have promotional efforts been overshadowed by the new Halloween? Do not enough people love the original? Is it because it was released after October 31st? Whatever the reason, nothing has deterred my enthusiasm.

Like most people, I try to avoid hype. It ruined Shutter Island and The Strangers for me. Hype sucks. Unfortunately, I couldn’t avoid the initial reactions to Suspiria from attendees of Fantastic Fest. EW called the audience reactions “orgasmic”. Will it actually be a decent remake? I’m cautiously optimistic and going into the film with an open mind and no expectations. I will update this post later tonight with my usual bite-sized review.

UPDATE 11/9/18: The Review:

I was ambitious in stating I would have a review of Suspiria posted on the same night I saw it. It is a HEAVY movie. It felt like eating a six course meal with wine pairings. Like a giant, ostentatious necklace worn over a dress made of drapery fabric. I needed time to digest it. My immediate reaction was that Tilda Swinton is outstanding (in both of her roles!) The set design and costumes are spectacular. As I was watching I felt immersed in the set, like I was in the dance academy building. Like the original, this version felt like watching a dream. Unlike the original, it is not vivid. At all. It’s bleak the whole way through. And girl, it’s pretentious. This movie screams that it went to NYU and had life changing experiences while studying abroad. That’s okay – I can overlook pretentiousness if there’s substance.

The dance sequences are dazzling, but I know jack shit about dance technique and they could very well suck to a trained eye. I have NO idea how the Holocaust or other references to political terrorism ties into this story, and the final scene still confuses me. Why does this Suspiria have to live in a world that’s bigger than it? I’m not sure, but it’s why the movie is 153 minutes long. The feminist in me loves that men exist in Suspiria exclusively to be fucked with. That’s awesome. If you haven’t seen it yet, stop reading. Now. If you have seen it, then I know you loved the cameo by Jessica Harper! That was a fun little surprise, and she was wonderful. I’m not exactly sure if I liked Suspiria or not, but I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s meaty, gaudy, beautiful, and douchey. I’ll be sitting with this one for a while, and may update this review periodically haha.

See Suspiria (1977) On the Big Screen With GOBLIN Perfoming Live Soundtrack!

If you live in Richmond, VA and you have never seen the original Suspiria, you have the perfect opportunity to see it on the big screen at the legendary Byrd Theater on December 7th. Need an incentive? Mother. Fucking. GOBLIN. will be at this screening PLAYING THE SOUNDTRACK TO THE MOVIE (Read: this is a big deal). Get your tickets HERE before they sell out.

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Red Vein Army Presents: Wicked Women of Richmond


February is a great month to drop hints to your man that you want a bouquet of chicken nuggets for Valentine’s Day. But it’s also Women in Horror Month!

I’m so excited to find out that Richmond’s own RED VEIN ARMY is hosting a lady horror event right in my own neighborhood at the end of this month.

The event is called Wicked Women of Richmond and will take place on Sunday, February 26 at Blue Bee Cider. It will feature a live podcast with Mouthy BroadCast from 4 – 6 pm. There will also be plenty of Red Vein haunters present to take photos with the crowd and lots of spooky prizes.

I’ll be there to cover the event and if it’s a total bust (which it won’t be), then at least I’ll still be able to get drunk. Horror, booze, and women – what’s not to love?

How To Get Down in RVA This Halloween 

When I left DC to move home to Richmond, the first thought I had was “Damn, I will not miss this Satan orchestrated traffic”. The second thought I had was, “I will really miss the endless options for Halloween parties at every bar and venue in the city”.

Well, it seems that RVA has gotten the memo and has caught up with our neighbor to the north in Halloween happenings. No longer do we only have the Carytown Zombie Walk and Halloween Parade to look forward to. There are now actually endless Halloween parties right here in good ol’ Richmond!

Whether you hate dressing up (who are you?!) or want to get extra “on theme”, there is something for you to do.

Here’s a comprehensive list of everything Halloween happening in RVA between now and November 1:

October 21:

  1. The 11th Annual RVA Halloweek Kick-Off at Strangeways Brewing “with a special beer release and music FREE / Followed by Burlesque at 9pm”
  2. Horror Movie Night at The Veil Brewing beginning at 9:00 pm. Every Friday in October. This week’s screening will be “Insidious” (Check out my experience at the first Horror movie night here)
  3. Red Vein Haunted House at Hanover Vegetable Farm… probably not as crowded as Ashland Berry Farm!

October 22:

  1. Scott’s Addition Pumpkin Festival. 12 – 6 pm. Free. Pumpkin themed food and booze! But will there be more actual pumpkins this year? Because last year I was very disappointed.
  2. Isley Brewing 3rd anniversary party and Zombie Walk. Stumble over from the Pumpkin Festival.
  3. Not Halloween related, but just up the street: Porkapalooza! at Lunch/Supper. Nom nom nom.

October 23:

  1. Goblins and Gourds at Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens. Pumpkin painting and music.

October 24:

  1. “Classic spooky movies” (like Young Frankenstein, Hocus Pocus, It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, etc) every day this week at the Beet Cafe at Ellwood Thompson at noon

October 25:

  1. Parking Lot Movie Night at Kinsfolk: The Nightmare Before Christmas
  2. Monster Burger, Bourbon and Brews at the Savory Grain

October 26:

  1. Deathly Debutante Dinner Party and Halloween Party at Kinsfolk

October 27:

  1. Killer Costume Karaoke at Metro Grill; 10 pm
  2. Hardywood’s Haunted Food Truck Court and “Bride of Frankenbier” release
  3. Lip Sync Battle Royale: Halloween Edition at The Answer Brewpub

October 28:

  1. The Village of the Damned at the Village Cafe – 7 pm (horror movies, beer specials)
  2. Movie Club RVA presents: Pet Sematary at Hardywood Brewery; Trivia with Video Fan; movie starts at 8 followed by concert
  3. GLITZ vs GORE Halloween Party at Fallout RVA
  4. Zombie Prom at the Tobacco Company
  5. Horror Movie Night at The Veil Brewing: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

October 29:

  1. Scott’s Addition BOOze Crawl
  2. Babes Halloween Spooktacular
  3. A Stranger Things Dance Party at Metro Grill
  4. Halloween Costume and Dance Party at The Veil Brewing
  5. War of the Worlds Live Broadcast by WRIR (or see the live performance at the Firehouse Theatre)
  6. A Nightmare on Cary Street Block Party with Cha Cha’s Cantina and Society Social Club
  7. Halloween Masquerade at the Tobacco Company
  8. Monster Mash at Keagans
  9. Scarytown and Carytown Zombie Walk (12th Annual!)
  10. WRIR’s Monster Mashquerade at The Camel

October 30:

  1. Stranger Things Halloween Party at Garden Grove Brewing 6:30 PM
  2. Third annual Growl-o-Ween at COTU Brewery  (DOGS IN COSTUMES)
  3. RVA Pug-o-Ween at Isley (PUGS IN COSTUMES)

October 31:

  1. 11th Annual Richmond Halloween Parade 
  2. Troma Night at Gallery 5: Double Halloween Feature
  3. Trick or Treat on Hanover Avenue (One of the best places to trick or treat in the US!)

November 1:

  1. Casa Del Barco Day of the Dead Celebration