A Sonnet for Art the Clown

I unfortunately met Art the Clown

At a local pizza shop nearby

He sawed my friend’s body upside down

That medieval torture shit made me cry

His disgusting black teeth give me nightmares

His sketchy bag is full of god knows what

The way he sits silent when he stares

You know he’s about to fuck shit up

I never understood the fear of clowns

Their very purpose is to spread joy

But I understand why Art causes frowns

That mother fucker is here to destroy

So if you see Art lurking on the street

Rest assured its your maker you will meet


31 Nights of Horror

Night 9, American Horror Story: Freak Show Premiere

31 Nights of Horror, Night 9: American Horror Story: Freak Show Premiere

Three sentences review:

In last night’s 90-minute American Horror Story: Freak Show premiere, “Twisty the Clown” became a horror icon. Beyond that designation, AHS: Freak Show’s got some ‘splainin to do and I can’t freaking (no pun intended) wait to see how this fourth season unfolds. Let me just fan-girl out real quick in the following run-on sequence: Kathy Bates is so fierce with a beard, Jessica Lange covers David Bowie, I’m so into the theories that all seasons are connected, please watch this engrossing interview with actor Mat Fraser, and if I see ANY of you jack asses dressing up as Twisty for Halloween I’m sprinting, screaming, and crying the hell away from you.


When I see Twisty