NERDCROPOLIS

Three sentence review:

For Halloweekend Saturday I met up with my favorite group of boos and ghouls for a frightful night of fun at Kings Dominion’s Halloween Haunt. After an initial worry about long lines we found our groove as we bravely faced five of KD’s haunted houses. The scariest house was a pitch black maze called “blackout” but it was one of the haunters roaming around the park that scared me the most – a creepy scarecrow on stilts that I swore was just a prop until it lunged at me as its handler laughed at my despair!

Three sentence review:

Horror fans around the world rejoiced when we learned that Joe Bob and Darcy were doing a Halloween special! It was as glorious as we hoped as Joe Bob schooled us on why Lifetime Movies are the ultimate low-budget horror movies of our modern times and educated us even more about the Halloween franchise we know and love. I stayed up until about 2 am finishing the second movie of the evening, Halloween 4, but it was earlier as I ate chicken tenders and Doritos that I smiled to myself, knowing that this was my favorite October Friday of 2019.

Three sentence review:

One of the central characters of this movie is a young multi-billionaire who isn’t upset at all when confronted by a reporter who has just spilled all of his secrets, so that’s how the acting and believability goes in this sequel. I adore the first Hell House LLC and the surprise at the end of this third installment was lovely. That being said, you gotta forgive a whole bunch of acting and plot missteps to get through this one.

Three sentence review:

I can see the writer of this movie being like “it would be awesome if this happened” and then continuing to pile on the overworked plot. Look, it’s an average horror/thriller and I LOVED seeing Fairuza Balk, but a 88 minute movie called Trespassers had no trespassers appear for like 40 minutes. Not recommending this one but it’s on Hulu and it’s not an abomination if you feel like watching something spooky while mindlessly scrolling on Instagram.

Three sentence review:

As a horror fan I spend so much time chasing the next great movie that sometimes I need to step back and revisit some of the greats. It’s interesting to revisit The Blair Witch Project because remembering the marketing frenzy surrounding the release of the film in 1999 kinda overshadows the actual movie. Still, I very much respect and appreciate the impact this had on the future of the genre, effectively jumpstarting the “found footage” era.

Three sentence review:

Every year there are certain movies I have to provide a disclaimer for so that my unassuming friends, coworkers and family won’t watch and then think I’m utterly unfit to be in public. Society is one of those movies. If you know, you know, and if you don’t, well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Three sentence review:

The general consensus among horror fans seems to be that Netflix’s selection of horror sucks this year. While I agree, I was pleasantly surprised by their newest horror release, Eli. What starts as a seemingly typical ghost story quickly evolves into something a bit more sinister, and I really dug the gnarly body horror and Lily Taylor (as always)!