31 Nights of Horror – NERDCROPOLIS

31 Nights of Horror IX, Night 4: As Above, So Below

Longer review because I’ve been meaning to watch this for years:

This is the third time I’ve tried to sit down and pay attention to As Above, So Below and I’m so happy that I finally did. I’ve noticed that Gen Z horror fans in particular seem to rave about this movie which I find fascinating/wonderful. Maybe it’s the first great horror movie they “discovered”, maybe they had a blast watching it with friends, maybe it’s the first time they learned about the Catacombs in Paris. Whatever it is, I’m here for it. I enjoyed the story being centered around alchemy and history rather than rooted in religion, though the religious symbolism is still there. It was very “National Treasure Goes to Hell” (literally) and even though true historians probably would scoff like a scientist watching any disaster movie, I loved it. There is so much going on in this film: a quest for the philosopher’s stone, an underground tour of Paris, a woman trying to carry out her father’s life work, a will-they-or-won’t-they romance with an attractive translator/church trespasser? This is a great example of a horror movie doing A LOT but doing it effectively because everything the movie builds you up for descends into hell and madness. I am now unsure if The Descent or this movie made me more claustrophobic. Really great watch if you haven’t gotten around to it yet, or watch it again on Netflix if you haven’t seen it in a few years.

31 Nights of Horror IX, Night 3: The Babysitter: Killer Queen

31 Nights of Horror IX, Night 3: The Babysitter: Killer Queen

Three sentence review:

Y’all, if you need a movie recommendation for this Saturday night please watch The Babysitter and then watch its BETTER sequel, The Babysitter: Killer Queen (both on Netflix). The sequel is self-aware, sharply funny and really fun. I absolutely loved this sequel and you will too!

31 Nights of Horror IX, Night 1: Killer Workout

IT’S OCTOBER. OCTOBER 2020. THERE’S A LOT OF SHIT TO BE SAD/MAD ABOUT. WATCH HORROR, BE HAPPY. CHEERS, WITCHES!

31 Nights of Horror IX, Night 1: Killer Workout

Killer Workout (1987) — The Movie Database (TMDb)

Three sentence review:

If you were burned in a freak tanning bed accident and it derailed your future career as a model would you murder everyone in a gym several years later? That’s exactly what happens in 1987’s awesomely bad KILLER WORKOUT aka AEROBI-CIDE. I absolutely loved this 80s stinky cheese classic and need a Rhonda’s Workout sweatshirt like yesterday.

Horror Movie Review: Killer Workout (1987) - Games, Brrraaains & A Head-Banging Life

31 Nights of Horror VIII, Night 3: SAW II

31 Nights of Horror VIII, Night 3: Saw II

Three sentence review:

This is a SAW II appreciation post. Not only did it jumpstart Donny Wahlberg’s comeback, it also stars Diz from Starship Troopers and friggin’ BEVERLY MITCHELL from Seventh Heaven (Rev. Camden is the real villain, amirite?) Sure, it’s not as groundbreaking as the original but it’s my favorite sequel of the franchise and I will watch a thousand SAW movies if they keep making them.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 30: Pieces

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 30: Pieces

Three sentence review:

If you’ve been following this year’s 31 Nights of Horror closely you may have rightly suspected that I watched the shit out of Joe Bob Brigg’s “The Last Drive In”. Pieces was shown during the event but I swear I watched it for the first time just a couple weeks before “The Last Drive In” aired, and was so excited when I got to watch it again. The movie is insane (random Kung fu?!) but the gore is great and the ending gives Sleepaway Camp a run for its money.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 28: Revenge

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 28: Revenge

Three sentence review:

This year women all around the country decided that we’ve had it with predatory men remaining in power. Revenge is horror’s perfect complement to this movement and it feels ferocious, like a hot tin beer can cauterizing its logo onto wounded flesh. Resilience and anger go the distance in this brilliant film about a woman who, like many others this year, overcomes enormous obstacles to fight back.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 27: John Carpenter’s “The Thing”

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 27: The Thing (1982)

Three sentence review:

I looked back on all of the movies I’ve featured over the years and could not find John Carpenter’s The Thing. That is a damn shame, because it’s undeniably one of the greatest horror movies of all time. Not just because of the (iconic/legendary/GOAT) special effects either; the claustrophobic, dire environment that Mr. Carpenter created is as terrifying as it was in 1982.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 26: Your 2018 Halloween Party Playlist

It’s Halloweekend! If you’re throwing a spooky shindig this weekend it’s time to put together your Halloween playlist. Don’t worry, I’m here to help with a list of songs that will be sure to satisfy traditionalists, weirdos, and those damn hipster elitists. Have fun my ghouls and goblins!

Your 2018 Halloween Playlist:

1. “Wicked Ones” – Dorothy

Because you want to set the tone for the evening without being too literal. “This night ain’t for the faint of heart…”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AW4vejDcVe8

2. “Skully Gully” – Bobby “Boris” Pickett

I always recommend this classic as a fantastic alternative to The Monster Mash. It’s on theme and catchy.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f8BW76mVv5o

3. “The Boogie Monster” – Gnarls Barkley

A creepy cool jam perfect for all of that awkward “catching up” conversation while you guzzle down your first couple of drinks

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oFzM7DJ9nFw

4. “Monster Moves” Koo Koo Kanga Roo

If LMFAO ever released a Halloween party anthem, this would be it. Good transition into a dance party or party game.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GxKb_VHCYdc

5. “Time Warp” – Rocky Horror Picture Show

Because if people weren’t dancing yet, now they will be.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-w0WPkB3XJ4

6. “Calling All The Monsters” – China Anne McClain

So what if it’s from Disney. Time for shots!! Bust out your skeleton arm shot glass holder and pass em out. What, everyone doesn’t have one of those?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XpoVbmx1qYU

7. “Tear You Apart” – She Wants Revenge

If anyone watched American Horror Story: Hotel, they’ll be excited.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ixw_bLVUL34

8. “Ghost Town” – The Specials

If your state has legalized weed – or maybe if it hasn’t – this is the song for passing out party favors.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ2oXzrnti4

9. “The Creep” – The Lonely Island

Or alternatively, “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” for some comic relief.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tLPZmPaHme0

10. Your Favorite Rob Zombie Song

Don’t overdo the playlist with Rob Zombie, but definitely choose your one or two favorites. But if you choose “Superbeast” then you are required to play “Call of the Zombie” before it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mG3iUfsLefY

11. “This is Halloween” – Marilyn Manson

One more for the traditionalists.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jU6iP0WLsU8

12. “Halloweenhead” – Ryan Adams

OMG the kinda cute introvert wearing a “this is my costume” T-shirt will actually like a song.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qvw7KZjfLtU

13. “The Crypt Jam” – Tales From the Crypt

Anyone born in the 80s or early 90s will LOVE this homage to the Cryptkeeper.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rv4RDx5TSrs

14. “Halloween” – Aqua

Yes, the band who made “Barbie Girl” made a Halloween song. It’s delightfully tacky.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gRr4TMqawu8

15. “Zombie Jamboree” – Harry Belafonte

❤️❤️❤️❤️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RdRI2Y8fGcI

16. “Nature Trail to Hell” – Weird Al Yankovic

If anyone doesn’t like Weird Al, you don’t want them at your party.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LWME4d1BRCk

17. “Mr. Crowley” – Ozzy Osbourne

The prince of darkness has to make one appearance right?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vDVLMS_Yhe4

18. “She Wolf” – Shakira

One for my ladies.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=booKP974B0k

19. “Scream” – Michael and Janet Jackson

BANGERRRR

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0P4A1K4lXDo

20. “Monster” – Kanye West

Dance all niiiiight!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pmEk0ZMhva4

21. “Are you ready for Freddy?” – Fat Boys

In the same vein as “The Crypt Jam”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XDUl5Ke5jbM

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 25: Halloween (2018)

Halloween met my expectations. I enjoyed the parts that clearly respected the original, such as the nice balance between gore and implied kills. I liked Michael’s look and the music was amazing.

I’m not sure about the new Doctor Loomis and the direction his character took. I’m also unclear if Michael was even out to get Laurie. In “Rue Morgue” magazine, David Gordon Green talked about disassociating Michael from being Laurie’s brother, that it was scarier to imagine Michael Myers as this random psychopath. That’s why I’m uncertain about the connection to Laurie in this one. Michael was killing everyone in his path throughout the film. He was brought to Laurie’s house, he was never seeking it out.

The new Halloween wasn’t perfect but I wasn’t expecting or hoping for it to be. What I loved was seeing it with my parents and brother and listening to their reactions:

My dad: “I was entertained”

My mom: “I am desensitized. It was too predictable for me.”

My brother: laughing out loud at the reactions of the police in the film (he’s a police officer himself)

That’s what great about horror. Coming together in a theater to laugh or feel scared. In that sense, it hit the mark.

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 24: Downrange

31 Nights of Horror VII, Night 24: Downrange

Three sentence review:

Downrange is currently on Shudder and it’s one of the best no frills survival horror movies I’ve seen in a while. The premise feels fresh; a group of friends are on a road trip together when their tire blows out and are soon after stalked by a sniper in the hills. The majority of the movie is filmed in daylight and I think that adds a realistic scariness to the already dire situation.